recently the system has improved so that if the pace slows to a stop, Eyesight will stop you behind the car in front and move forward again when you hit resume.
Nothing recent about this. My 2014 Touring does exactly this. In adaptive cruise control mode, it will gently slow down and stop behind a stopped car. It will gently accelerate when that car moves forward.
If an EyeSight-equipped car is not behaving like this in ACC mode, it is broken. Given the other reported issues, I think the OP got a lemon.