I just bought a 2021 Forester Touring to replace a 2011 Lexus ES 350, which was a downsizing from an overall length and rear seat legroom standpoint. The former was necessary in order to be able to park in the garage of my new house with a workbench against the back wall. That workbench also ruled out the Outback, which is longer than the Forester (I can open the rear hatch of the Forester after backing in, with 2-3" clearance from the garage door and 3-4" clearance from the workbench).
Before settling on the Forester, I also checked out the Crosstrek, which felt too small to me, both comfort-wise and for cargo capacity in back. I'm 6' 2" with long legs (I can straddle a 36" tennis net without cutting myself in half), so ample legroom is important. I do have to push the Forester's driver's seat all the way back, but it fits me. [As an aside, the rear seat leg room in the Forester isn't as ample while I'm driving as in the ES, but that's neither a surprise nor a problem--I'm retired, and don't expect to need to haul adults in the back for long trips (just short stuff around town, and only rarely)--and it's still a good sight better than in a Crosstrek.]
The Forester also sits higher than the Outback or Crosstrek and has all-around excellent visibility. Despite the higher seat height, there's enough room overhead for me to wear a fedora while I'm driving (which I could never do in the ES, or any other car I've ever owned, for that matter). Love having all that headroom, which you won't find in either the Outback or Crosstrek.
One tip to maxing out the cargo utility of the Forester (I pretty much use mine as a truck) is to buy the rear seatback protector (matches the cargo floor protector that comes with the Touring). I also found that the front passenger seatback will fold way forward, allowing for extra-long items with the rear seatback folded.
As for towing...well, you really don't want to do (and can't do) much more than a utility trailer with a Forester. I'd recommend that you skip it entirely unless you're going to pull a trailer on a very regular basis. What most people don't consider is that as soon as they have a permanent hitch installed, their rear crash protection is horribly compromised, as the hitch is rigidly attached to the frame, and sticks out far enough to the rear that it will take the brunt of any centered rear impact. Such an impact will result in almost all of the energy of the impact being transmitted to the frame in a very short, high-peak-intensity pulse (as opposed to the longer, lower-peak-intensity pulse that results when the rear bumper can crush down and do its work).
Why is this a big deal? Because the seats are hard-mounted to the frame, meaning that the seat occupants will be directly connected to that shorter-duration, higher-peak-intensity pulse. This is going to expose them to a much more severe whiplash effect (yes, even with the headrests properly adjusted). The medical summaries I've read indicates this is also much more of a problem for women and children than men, relatively speaking and on average (same-sex body types being on a normal curve distribution, after all), due to their smaller neck structure.
So unless you really need to haul a trailer a lot (if you're a landscaper, say), then I'd recommend not even installing a hitch. If you're really going to do a lot of trailer camping, get something a lot bigger and with more power and towing load than a Forester.
As for the auto stop-start function: I'll admit that I really wanted this to work for me (I'm cheap, and do all sorts of things to boost my mileage), so instead of just giving up on it because it's unfamiliar, I learned how to adapt by forming a new habit pattern. First off, I always engage the Auto-Hold Braking feature (as soon as I start the car; I wish there was a setting for it to come on automatically, but there isn't). When I roll up to a light and come to a full stop and the Auto-Hold Braking activates, I lift my foot off the brake pedal. If the engine is able to auto-stop, this is when it will do so. I then pay attention to what's going on at the intersection, and when it's about time to get moving, I put my foot on the brake pedal to restart the engine. When I'm ready to accelerate, the engine is already running, and I'm good to go. It took me about 5-6 trips to train my brain do this, but now I hardly even think about it.