2004 Forester XT Premium 4EAT
Throttle fixes everything. Love is your rear bumper kissing snowbank at 40 mph and not leaving a scratch. If hookers carried active differentials in their purses and knew how to use 'em, I wouldn't be married. Left-foot braking fixes everything the throttle doesn't fix, including impotence and poor self-esteem. Banging off a rev limiter while looking out a car's side window and slamming into a steering stop will cure cancer. If the car isn't moving around under power, you are a small, testicle-free squirrel. The handbrake fixes everything left-foot braking doesn't fix, including philosophical issues with most major religions and the heartbreakingly impossible question of what you should have for dinner*.