[Nich B]

For those that dont know me I work in college and teach 16+ so you have to have an array of jokes when the teaching doesnt work. This one I use when they havnt submited any work.....

Knock Knock





Whose there?





Bigish





Bigish who






No thanks mate






Gets em every time lol



Bigish who (Big Issue) For all those county bumkins the Big Issue is sold on the streets by homeless unemployed people, the inference being if they dont get their work in its what they will be doing, along with, repeat after me, "do you want fries with that?"

 

[SubaJew]

Ah ha! Now I get it.
Over here it's called the "Homeless Voice".
They sell it on every street corner around here.

 

[Nich B]

ahh Boca

Not the most PC of user name to use whilst in the UK, lol

Do you support Spurs?

 

[stevem]

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?" says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 7 year old says "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to swear first, then you swear after me, OK?"

"Ok" the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.

"Oh, sh*t mum, I s'pose I'll have some Coco Pops"

WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

I don't know," he blubbers, "but it won't be f*cking Coco Pops."

 

[Tentenths]

Playground humour eh?

Guy takes his Rotteweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

The vet picks up the dog and carefully examines his eyes, checks his teeth, and looks in his ears. After further deliberation he says, "I'm sorry I'm going to have to put him down."

"What, just because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy".

 

[Tentenths]

Another quick one...

Two fat blokes in a pub.

One says to the other "Your round".

Other responds "So are you, you fat bast*rd!"

 

[stockcar]

chortle, chortle......................very good

 

[SubaJew]

ahh Boca

Not the most PC of user name to use whilst in the UK, lol

Do you support Spurs?

 

[Forestier]

Go on then Nich - explain that one!

 

[SubaJew]

Did I just open a can of worms?

 

[Nich B]

Bugger where do I start

 

[SubaJew]

If you were refering to a certain group of people that are protesting against some cartoons, I'm not worried. ... THEY should be more worried about me.
As a general rule, I'm never ashamed of who or what I am.
"Be true to yourself." Otherwise your oppressors have won.

Health, happiness and prosperity to you sir...

EDIT> The "spurs" thing still has me .

 

[integrale]

The only Boca that slips into my mind is this: www.bocajuniors.com.ar; maybe this is the relation to the Spurs thing (Tottenham?).

 

[stevem]

Spurs ( or Tottenham Hotspurs ) are a football team based in Nth London. It happens that this area has a significant Jewish population - so by definition, the team has a high quotient of Jewish fans...

In the manner of all things football, they are therefore known as "The Yids"


Hope this clears everything up ....


Steve

 

[SubaJew]

I had a feeling that had something to do with it.
When you say football, I assume you mean soccer (hence foot-ball) and not American football (more like rugby).
You folks over there tend to get a bit more worked up over your sports teams than we do.
Definition noted. Thanks for the warning.

 

[stevem]

yes , you would know it as soccer .... american football isn't a real sport , everyone knows that :lol:

 

[SubaJew]

You might be right, but it gives us a great excuse to eat some charred animal flesh & drink lots of beer.
Next up, hotdog & beer season (baseball).
See a pattern forming?

 

[stevem]

Too many weeks spent in Boston with a previous employer made me unfortunately a paid up member of the RSN

Cricket is my first love though... now there's a sport. 5 full days of sustained tension and you can still have no result :lol:

 

[Nich B]

Thanks Steve, for clearing that one up.

Im afraid Im not a great fan of American Football, they want to ditch all the protective gear, and keep the ball in play, err that will be rugby then.

 

[Palatine®]

side issue,
I've never understood why they don't use the fact that any player can pass the ball backwards anywhere on the pitch allowing them to play more like a rugby type play. I'm sure it would catch teams out. Or why it's called Football when it's rarely kicked???

Just to add more confusion the real rugby season started last night.
The "Catalan can't be relegated for 2 seasons." BS is a joke.
Come on "The Wires!"....



oops "The Wolves!!"