Subyroo

Wrong gender thinking there Sheepish........clean up your act matey!

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Peter

MY03 XS 5SP White/Metallic Grey "Casper"

bodegabandit

What is the pirates favorite beer??













PBRRRR!

yeah lame I know

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FXTMatt

How can you tell when your girlfriend is getting fat?















She fits into your wifes clothes!

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www.teamhinga.net

geargrinder

^great joke!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

here's one I got today- It's so true it's almost not funny.


WHERE DID THE WHITE MAN GO WRONG?

Indian Chief, 'Two Eagles,' was asked by a white government official, 'You
have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his
technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's
done.'

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion,
where did the white man go wrong?'

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then
calmly replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it. No taxes, No
debt, Plenty buffalo, Plenty beaver, Clean Water; Women did all the work,
Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; All night
having sex.'

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he can improve system like that.'

FXTRunner1

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one. 'She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, it's right there.
' If you' re not sure what a 710 is

http://www.hotautoweb.com/cogifs/710.jpg

__________________
FXT 05 MT CGM VF39'd FTW!

FXTMatt

good one!

__________________
www.teamhinga.net

Peaty

Children's Logic

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SILVIA: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same colors at home.

At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute 5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks.
"I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."

TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.

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Peaty

04 -XT

06 B9 Tribeca & 99 Miata

ScoobyMods

peatpics

Peaty

A Jewish girl tells her Catholic college roommate that she's going home for Rosh Hashanah. The Catholic girl asks the Jewish girl, "Is this the holiday when you light eight candles?" "No," the Jewish girl replies, "that's Hanukah." The Catholic girl then asks the Jewish girl, "Is that when you eat unleavened bread?" "No," the Jewish girl replies, " that's Passover." Rosh Hashanah is the holiday when we blow the shofar." The Catholic girl replies, "That's what I like about you Jews, you're so good to your help...

__________________
Peaty

04 -XT

06 B9 Tribeca & 99 Miata

ScoobyMods

peatpics

car_cursed

The Harley-Davidson Facts

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles
have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, s o you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson
motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'

God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise
and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'


God said, 'Ah, yes.'

'Well,' said Arthur, professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention !


1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension



2. It chatters constantly at high speeds


3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much



4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust



5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few word s and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.

Dan

Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest. A couple of them have already shown up in the thread:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one Carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says: "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. Friars behind on their belfry payments opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, a thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....A super
calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!

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SHIFT_to_Subaru
'04 XT, 5spd

abacall

Love that, I sent it to some fellow teachers. Kids are so literal it catches us off guard.

__________________
Forester: the car that put the BOX in Boxer

Want to see my Fozz?

Subyroo

A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her inner thigh.

Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo and in that location.

She responds 'It's really cool.

If you put your ear up against it, you can smell the ocean.'

__________________
Peter

MY03 XS 5SP White/Metallic Grey "Casper"

bbottomley

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite, words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then, suddenly there was total quiet! Not a peep was heard for over a minute!

Fearing that he had hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said…."I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the difference in his attitude and as he was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the bird continued.... "May I ask what the Turkey did?"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING !

__________________
2003 XS Premium MT - 2005 Impreza 2.5 RS MT

SageGForester

A Texan is visiting Israel, and feeling thirsty, he stops at a house along the road. "Can you give me a drink of water?" asks the Texan.

"Of course," says the Israeli, and invites the Texan to come in.

"What do you do? says the Texan.

"I raise a few chickens," says the Israeli.

"Really?" says the Texan. "I'm also a farmer. How much land do you have?"

"Well," says the Israeli, "out front it's 50 meters, as you can see, and in back we have close to 100 meters of property. And what about your place?"

"Well," says the Texan, "on my ranch, I have breakfast and get into the car, and I drive and drive—and I don't reach the end of the ranch until dinnertime."

"Really," replies the Israeli. "I once had a car like that."


—from the Big Book of Jewish Humor, edited and annotated by Wm. Novak and Moshe Waldoks.

Subyroo

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door.

She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.
He asks the lady 'Do you have a vagina?'.
She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman 'Do you have a vagina'.
She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.
The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice 'Honey, I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again'.

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door.
The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it'.

She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question. 'Do you have vagina' 'Yes' she says.

The man replies 'Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone, and start using yours!'.

__________________
Peter

MY03 XS 5SP White/Metallic Grey "Casper"